President Obama Supports SEALS Trial in NYC Courts

In an unsurprising statement, President Obama has verified his support of Attorney General Holder's plan to have the SEALS currently slated for a military court martial related to prisoner  brutality,  tried in civil courts in NYC. The President said it makes sense, given our laws are appropriately prosecuting war crimes in our civil courts, wherein the litigants are provided constitutional protection.  In the case of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (alleged mastermind of the 9-11 attacks), the civil trials are critical because America cannot trust it's military to not torture its detainees. This has been proven over and over again in the Bush Administration, noted the President. It also cannot be trusted as "a disinterested party" to seek appropriate punishment of those Navy SEALS who captured and abused Ahmed Hashim Abed. He was the alleged leader of a party that massacred some civilian soldiers of fortune contracted to a security company that makes huge profits off the American presence in Iraq, according to the Attorney General, Eric Holder.
  
To assure the SEALS are tried properly for their shameless rough treatment of Mr. Abed, the alleged leader of a massacre, the trial is in the best hands in American Civilian Courts.  The similarities of the Guantanamo detainees being tried in NYC and the need for the SEALS to be tried in NYC are not lost on the Obama Administration.  Fairness is the goal.  The President noted that the American Military has not exhibited a good record of fairness with many alleged combatants in the war zones of late.  As an aside, President Obama noted it only makes sense that the SEALS should have the same constitutional protections afforded Mr. Mohammed. Extra security will have to be put in place with the dangerous SEALS present in NYC but the economic value should override the costs, according to the Green Jobs Czar.


Mayor Bloomberg and the President were also asked about other impacts of moving such high profile court cases to NYC and out of the medieval structure of military tribunals.. The President is pleased to note there will be many new jobs created in America because of the peripheral industries related to the trial business.  Many trial attorneys are expected to earn millions of dollars as defense counsel and the funds are likely to come from foreign sources in the Middle East. This speaks to the balance of trade issue, said the President. It is a bonus that the jobs are GREEN or at least carbon neutral as compared to jobs in America's industries that are notorious for pollution.




These funds not only create jobs for the Attorneys and their staffs, but also employees of numerous high end restaurants in NYC where these people will dine. Add to that the many hours of network news eminating from 30 Rockefeller Plaza - the tons of newsprint and blogger activity with its attendant advertising and the economy of NYC will simply hum.  All this with foreign money that reduces the trade deficit.    Mayor Bloomberg is excited by the potential for a revival of NYC in the midst of the Bush Generated Depression, the worst economy witnessed by many Americans in their lifetime according to President Obama. 


The American Federation of Trial Lawyers has again congratulated President Obama for his actions to assure American Courts are allowed to provide legal sanctuary to the world. This marks the ninth month in a row, the President has been featured on the cover of its journal, "Prophet of The Trial Profits". 

 In other news - The House Leadership including Representatives Barney Frank, and  Nancy Pelosi, and Senators Chris Dodd, the barely warmed old seat of Barrack Obama and the Ghost of Ted Kennedy report superb success with the 1990's policies to encourage unsecured loans for real estate.  "Everything was fine until BUSH tried to put in oversight but  we stopped THAT!" The subsequent market crash that destroyed the lives of America's most vulnerable is therefore squarely a Bush phenomenon. "We didn't do anything, it was Bush", said Americas leaders in the Party of Change. Meanwhile the President's party which consists of 90 percent lawyers, is pleased to see legal and trial business in America on a meteoric rise. The party leadership reports record contributions.


(The preceding is tongue in cheek satire - by Vic Campbell - www.buzzcreek.com )
The satire is written as if reported by the "typical" liberal media .. but "over the top".

real news: FOX   FOX on Fannie Mae regulation influence leading to financial crisis.