Wednesday, March 15, 2006

You Know You Live in Sussex County NJ IF ...

You Know you’re from Sussex County When...

There are at least 3 diners within a 20 minute drive from Your house, and You’ve been in one after 3 AM.

You’ve had to argue with a waitress that refused to make you a milkshake at one in the morning.

You’ve been to Sunrise Mountain.

You know that people from Sparta are snobs.

You consider a movie theater with more than two screens big.

You know what Harvard On the Hill is.

Two thirds of you high school class went to SCCC, and most of the rest went to Rutgers.

You cant refer to SCCC without saying “SCCC..C.CC..C”

You realize that a bonfire refers to a party, and you’ve been to one.

The 4-H is one of the most popular groups in Your town.

At least one of Your friends raises livestock.

You know that Wallkill Valley High School has no windows.

You’ve cursed loudly while trying to drive around the square in the center of Newton.

You’ve hit numerous small furry animals with your car, and you’ve nearly hit a deer.

You keep your trash cans inside so that the bears can’t get at them.

At least one of your friends drives a pickup truck.

You’ve always wanted to steal the Sussex County: People and Nature Together signs.

You’ve hit at least one deer in a 5 year period and you give directions like “go past two dead deer and turn right”.

You can’t remember the last time that Wallkill Valley had a good football team.

You think Pope John guys are assholes, but the girls are always attractive.

You’ve lost miserably to Pope John in some sport.

You’ve driven over multiple one-lane two-way bridges.

You know that all traffic lights are green after one in the morning.

In order to get anywhere you have to get onto either Route 23, Route 206, or Route 15.

You cant believe that people actually vacation at Mountain Creek.

You’ve memorized the layout of the Sussex County Fair.

You’re friends with someone that was in the running for Queen of the Fair.

You’ve gone to the bowling alley just to hang out.

You’ve gotten stuck driving behind a tractor.

You or someone you know has defended his/her home from the bears with a bee be gun.

You know where Ross Corner is.

You’ve mumbled under your breath about the state of cable television service and content.

You make snide remarks when you hear a sportscaster say “Now for a commercial … ti-i-immme out!”

You know that Sparta cops are assholes. (HELL YES TO THIS ONE!!!)

You think that the town of Sussex is kind of a shit-hole.

You’ve gone to the Sussex Inn, and know that it used to be a crack house.

You’ve futilely tried to explain that the Parkway goes nowhere near Your house, and You don’t designate Your town with an exit.

You’ve gotten pissed at someone for insisting that there are no rural areas left in New Jersey.

You went to a regional high school.

You’ve bought a random assortment of objects at either True-Value or Rockaway Sales.

You consider five inches of snow a dusting.

Going to the mall requires a serious time commitment.

You know people that consider the first day of hunting season a national holiday.

The local Wal-Mart sells rifles and ammunition.

You can’t remember the last time that Kittatinny had a bad wrestling team.

The three malls closest to your house are in three different states.

You’ve gone sleigh riding after midnight on someone else’s property.

More people in your town go to the fishing tournament than the Christmas tree lighting.

You’ve had to stop your car in the middle of the road and wait for the cows to cross.

You know that the Sussex County Fair is the state fair, and you go every year.

You’ve been hoping that Greatest Deals on Wheels goes out of business ever since you were old enough to watch television.

You’re overwhelmed when your radio picks up more than two stations.

You’ve driven on “Old Mine Road” and stopped to take a picture of what definitely does not look like New Jersey.

You’ve been told that there are foxes, mountain lions, and coyotes in the woods, but you’ve never seen any of them.

You’ve been in a town that has a mineral named after it.

You’ve had to stay indoors because of reports of rabid animals in the area.

You or someone you know has been pictured on the front page of the New Jersey Herald doing something completely innocent, like ice skating.

You begin to appreciate woodpiles as a decorative feature for the front porch.

If somebody mentioned “Jimmy Woolsey” to you, you would immediately think of an ancient piano player at the Walpack Inn.

You’ve had no less than seven species of animal in your front yard at one time or another.

You or someone you know has shot and barbecued a squirrel.

You know people who pick up dead deer on the side of the road and take them to the butcher.

You’ve bitched about Pope John being in the SCIL.

Your bus ride to school lasts over forty-five minutes.

You’ve had a burger and fries at Space Farms while admiring the taxidermy and enough weapons to restart the Civil War.

You know Space Farms is not about “space”.

You know someone who owns a tractor and has driven it down a major road.

You don’t believe in streetlights.

You've been in a minor school-bus accident due to ice and sharp corners.

You know at least three roads that you pull onto blindly while hoping that no one's coming.

You purposely don't get all cordless phones, because you expect to lose power for an extended period of time at least twice a year.

after missing a turn, You stop in the middle of the road, put the car into reverse, and back up.

You’ve never seen a Democrat run for any local office.

You take deer crossing signs very seriously.

You’ve watched planes take off and land at Sussex Airport and thought “this must be what it was like in 1930.”

You’ve picked and eaten wild berries.

You’ve gone hiking in the woods and found some abandoned cars.

You’ve had an unplanned sleepover due to inclement weather.

You had to correct the spelling or grammar in at least one sentence above before you sent it to your friends outside of Sussex County – especially if you are from Sparta.

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